You know instantly when you’re doing something that is positive or that leads you in another, less beneficial direction. If you try to kid yourself into pretending that you’re happy or doing something positive when you’re not, you’ll have to deal with the consequences. It takes a lot of energy to kid yourself and you won’t get the results in life that you can when you follow an authentic path.
It's easy to over think your way into being less happy by thinking of all the things that might happen or didn't happen or could have happened or won't happen. It's wise to think before you act but not to the point that you paralyze yourself and never do anything. Find your happy balance point where you think before you do something but not so much that you're afraid to take a step or handle a situation.
Many people want to learn how to let go of the past and be happy but don’t know what to do because they’ve always done things a certain way. The key to being able to let go of things is to take action.
A lot of people wish they could move beyond challenges but don’t fully commit to doing it. It takes conscious and ongoing effort to change anything in your life. Here are some ideas to help you let go of the past:
- Pick one thing you want to let go of.
- Choose an alternative, some thought or action to replace what you used to do.
- Every time you try to feel, think or do the old thing, replace it with the new one.
- Repeat this action for at least thirty days.
- Evaluate how you’re doing after thirty days. If you’re still doing the old thing, pick a new thing to replace it and practice that for thirty days.
- Continue this process until you don’t do the old thing.
To be truly happy you have to be able to let go of past hurts. The good news is that you can do it whenever you decide to, as long as you’re willing to do the work necessary to move forward positively.
A bamboo bends in in high winds whereas a mighty oak tries to stay firm and gets knocked down. You get to decide whether you resist the events that come your way or go with the flow and be more happy. By resisting less, you'll be more flexible and able to deal with the challenges you'll face in life. Being flexible doesn't mean giving up your dreams or way of being, it just means that you choose to not struggle with everything. What will you do to resist less?
A lot of people live very comfortable lives where everything seems to be in place and taken care of yet they still feel like something is missing so they think and do things that reflect this imbalance. No amount of comfort will help you be genuinely happy because happiness comes from deeper things like knowing yourself, living genuinely, being compassionate and doing meaningful things rather than trying to control your environment so it's just so or doing what your peers or family expect you to do. The challenge for many people is to move beyond the superficial trappings to the deeper things in life that truly bring joy and fulfillment like self-awareness and self-actualization.